ABSTRACT:A study was conducted on a sample of birds/chicks caught unawares (too lend the report creditworthiness). An investigation was made on the possible reasons for the failure/ success in game /bird hunting (including success/failure with chicks). The studies revealed the applicability of the following rules in our day to day bird-hunting endeavours.
• The Naked Rule• The Nas(h)ty Rule• The Pyramid Rule• The Foursome Rule
Important Note: The terms chicks and birds have been used, as a convenience measure, synonymous to each other, as both of these are essentially similar in quality, apart from the fact that game birds take more effort. Both prizes are cherished, nonetheless.
INTRODUCTION:Since the dawn of humankind, dating back to the days of Adam, his apple, Eve and the serpent, men have found it necessary to go bird-hunting. The pleasure derived out of the catch seems to be the driving force behind the motive. The nuances of the complex art of ‘scoring chicks’ have been studied, drawing some conclusions.
EXPERIMENTAL DETAILS:‘Four-play’ was conducted on the following sample:]
1) THE SITTERS – Easiest to hit on. Score!
2) THE GEESE – These birds have the ‘Geez! You blow me’ look on them. Expressive birds, mind you!
3) THE JUNGLEFOWL – All junglee and foul! Proceed with utmost care with these ones
4) THE WOODCOCKS – You need to dip your beaks hard into these ones.
Note: For one’s own satisfaction, different combinations of foursomes can be experimented with.
DISCUSSIONS:1) It has been observed that occupying a chick’s attention grants an immediate upper hand, even though it might not seem that apparent. From here, it is advised to play slow at first, and make steady moves. Best to fire when IT starts getting hot. For it is then that the fame turns its head away, unaware of the impending pounce. It is advised to be a tigger all the way!
2) It has been found that a firm grip on the barrel increases the odds of a confident shot (and needless to say, no one’s in the mood to wet their pants doing so, or are we?! ;-) ). In any case, it’s best to oil the gun well before use!
3) Even among chicks, we find something called the ‘pecking order’ (an organisation of people as different ranks in an administrative body). It’s not much of a job segregating the hi-fis from the normal ones.
Now here’s a piece of advice right from my family archives. It’s a poem written by my great-grand-uncle...
O boys and girls from now and then,
Your goofs and b***s excite this pen;
No paltry aid you gift today...
And I was never – ever this gay!
For I bequeath into your hands
The code, the Rulebook of these lands;
And I don’t want this strain delayed;
For here’s the secret on how to get laid...
A roast, a toast; beef and mead;
You dine on these and pay me heed
The dame awaits, a child no more...
Do not delay, I must implore.
‘All worlds’s a play’, it has been said
Is that enough for your appetite to be fed?
We’ll see about that once the game’s begun
You load your barrel and head out for fun!
The bird dictates your movements, yes!
A peek, a glance is enough to guess
Here, the Pecking Order comes to play
And then you go –“What does the rulebook say?”
-
“When a chick’s eggs are tasted raw
The ‘entire-course’ would hold no flaw”
Protein exchange - I call it thus;
Play ‘IT’ cool, and make no fuss...
And that, my friends will hold you good.
As long as you like it – hunt you should!
Treasure this gift I pass today...
And you’ll ‘BANG FINE’ and ‘ROLL IN THE HAY’!
DISCLAIMER: Let the above poem convey a clear message on what is expected of us. Misconstruing the poesy in any way other than the direct implication is totally the reader’s problem.
;-)
RESULT:The Naked Rule (also referred to as the ‘Naked Truth’) –
One should have a clear idea of the amount of jungly vegetation one’s dealing with before going game hunting. The ‘Naked Truth’ is that whether or not you have an upper hand as far as artillery is concerned, a nearly barren hunting ground is best for clean shots!
The Nas(h)ty Rule –
In the event of being part of a band of hunters on the prowl, John Nash’s theory on Governing Dynamics comes to play. The best result comes when everyone in the group does what’s good for him and the group.
The Pyramid Rule –
Start at the base, working your way to the top step-by-step. Spending too much time at the nadir would mean missing out on a ‘higher taste’.
The FOURSOME Rule –
A sample should contain not more and not less than 4 varieties of birds (This is a tried and tested number for me. One may come up with one’s own AWESOME ‘X’SOME rule depending on their unique tastes)
HAPPY HUNTING (Wings Tails Feathers !)
